Dear Lucy,

Today has been the kind of day I always imagined when I pictured myself being a mom. Daddy and I both had the day off to spend as a family. Lately that doesn't happen often so we make sure to cherish when it does.

We had some errands to run which of course you pitched a fit through. Lately you've not been the biggest fan of car rides. I had an interview for a position as a bank teller in Bellevue. The hours would let me be home with you much more and it would be the same town that Daddy works in. We are crossing our fingers and toes and saying some prayers!

Once we got home you were in need of a nap so that's what you did while Mommy and Daddy caught up on some tv shows. After nap we got out the mega blocks and all played together in the floor. You are getting to be such a big girl. You even helped clean up after we were done playing! You liked cleaning up so much that you were pulling the blocks out of the bag just to put them back in!

Dinner time followed play time. After diner I decided to make heart shaped traced hands for Grandparents' Day. You really tried to help out with that too! Unfortunately when scissors and glue are involved sometimes your little butt is more of a hurt than help so I put that away for after bed time. Daddy put in The Rescuers and we've just been playing ever since. Now it's time for a bath and some cuddles before bed!

I know this entry wasn't much more than a boring old recap, but I want you to know that even thought you go to daycare more than I'd like and Daddy is on the road a lot that we do cherish you and the blessing that you are.


All my love,
Mommy

Dear Lucy,

     As your Daddy would say, "Oh le wah I'm bad at updating this!" I'm sorry that your first year hasn't been as well documented as I wished it would have been. Don't get me wrong there are tons of pictures and your baby book is pretty up to date. I just had planned on doing many more entries on a much more regular basis than actually worked out to be. Once I went back to work, schedules around the house got pretty crazy.

     This summer has been much harder than last summer was for us.  Last year, Daddy and I just passed you back and forth between our work schedules. This year, you had to go to day care.  I hope you know how much it kills me to drop you off every day. I wish more than anything that we were financially secure enough that I could spend my days with you.  It does get easier as you make friends and start to walk into day care on your own. Oh yeah, you're walking now! You seem to really enjoy going to day care and I know that it's good for you to get used to being around other adults and children.  I just wish there was more time for just us.

     Daddy and I talk a lot about where we want to settle down and really plant our roots.  This time last year, we would have said we pictured ourselves staying in Ohio.  The more that time passes, the less this seems to be where we want to stay.  As much as I love working at Cedar Point, I don't think it's the career for me.  My dream growing up was to be a Mommy and have a family.  In this day and age that may not be the popular life dream, but it's mine.  My family is always my number one priority, and a job like Cedar Point doesn't always allow that to play out.  I want to be able to take family trips during your summer vacation or spring break.  If I stay here and continue on this path, trips and memories like that are impossible.

     Once work calms down I'm going to meet with an advisor at the community college in Elyria to discuss looking into their ultrasound program. I want to go to work everyday and show people their babies! I know it's not all good news, and I'm ready for that part too.  Hopefully this career change will make it easier to have a family life.  I would havae a more reliable and consistant work schedule.

     Hopefully once the park closes I will be able to set up a day each week to update this thing!

All my love,
Mommy

Dear Lucy,

     Aunt Kate is spending the week with us this week. She decided to come visit on spring break and so far it has been a lot of fun. She likes getting to spend some quality time with you, and you seem to be enjoying it too.  It's good for you guys to have some one on one time and not have Nonnie and Poppie hogging all of your time.

    You're starting to stand up on your own. It's super scary!! Lots of people keep saying you're going to start walking soon! I can't believe how quickly you're growing up. Just in the last week you've started waving back when someone waves at you. I love watching your personality develop. You haven't started talking yet and I'm not really sure when you will. Everyone always says babies are different and develop at different rates so I try not to worry.

     Daddy and I are talking about having your Grandma Stitt come and stay with us for the summer. It would save us a lot of money on day care, and money is one thing we don't really have extra of right now. I'm not sure how we'll be by the time you're reading this, but I really hope it's better than we're doing now. I don't want you to get the wrong impression. None of us are deprived of anything. We have a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, and a little bit of money to play around with. A very little. That's how the economy is for a lot of families these days. I hope when you're older, we have money in the bank, and the ability to help you out financially. I don't ever want you to worry about Daddy and I like I've worried about Nonnie and Poppie. Like I said, no one has ever been homeless or starved, but money has never been something I've had in excess. Hopefully with Daddy's new job at the railroad things will start to change.

     When you grow up and graduate from high school, Daddy and I want to be able to help you out if you want to go to college or any kind of higher learning. We want to help you out even if you don't go to a post high school school. Our goal is to be well enough off that you don't ever worry about getting to do something because of the money, but also know the value of a dollar. We want you to work in high school and help pay for your own car and phone, but be able to help you out when you fall. . . and you will fall. Everyone does. I hope that by now you know that Daddy and I will love you when you fall. We will be there to pick you up and hold your hand while you learn to walk again. Much like we're doing with you now...holding your hands while you stand up until you're ready to let go.

All my love forever and always,
Mommy

Sorry for the wait!

Dear Lucy,

     I'm sorry it's been awhile since I've written love. Things around home have been pretty hectic. The weather has gotten very nice since you've been home.  You had so much fun in Evansville. Seeing how happy you were when I went to pick you up put all of my fears to rest.

     Daddy and I are starting to register you for daycare!!! This scares the crap out of me. I know you'll have fun and I know it will be good for you to play with other kids, but it still freaks me out not being the one to take care of you.  I just don't want to miss out on anything.  I don't want to miss your first steps or your first word. Although, Daddy and I think you're getting pretty close to both of those. You're just crawling around like you own the place and jabbering away. You're pulling up on everything and starting to let go and stand up on your own for a few seconds.

     It's hard to believe that you will be 10 months old next week. You have developed your own little personality. You're quite sassy for such a little girl. You're going through a pretty intense biting phase. Right now it's mostly just me you've been biting but you occasionally bite Daddy and as of yesterday, Tiger. You sure do love tormenting that kitty cat. You grabbed his tail with both hands, looked around at Daddy and me, and then chomped his tail like it was a corn cob. It was so funny Daddy was falling off of the couch with laughter.

     Now that it's nice outside, we've gone to the park a few times. You sure do love swinging. We've been planning your birthday party lately and it blows my mind that it's already
 time to start planning!! YIKES!

See, I told you that you love it!

All my love forever and always,
Mommy

Tiger is ready for you to come home

Baby Lucy,

     I was going to go to Indiana to get you today, but I'm not sure if I will or not. The weather is supposed to be really bad and Poppie is afraid for me to drive in it.  Maybe I'll just leave a little later and hope that I miss the storms.  I really can't wait to see you and hold you again. This week has been very hard without you. I think it makes it harder to see how much fun you're having in Indiana and not being able to know if you miss us or not. We sure do miss you. I walk in your room and peek into your bed, but you're not there.

     Daddy and I are very excited that you are comfortable with family and away from us. We want you to be able to spend time with family that you don't see very often. Hopefully as you grow up we can take family trips to see Daddy's family in Florida. I know he wants you to have a better relationship with them than he did. It has been hard for him not being as close with his family as he wants to be. He's pretty much been on his own since he was 18 and only recently started keeping in regular contact with them. I'd like to think that you and I are responsible for that.

     There are so many things I want in life for you. Every day Daddy and I sit and talk about who we think you will grow into. We wonder what kind of movies you will like, if you will take after Daddy or me in school, what you'll want to be when you grow up. You have your whole life ahead of you and we are nothing but excited to hold your hands and watch you grow. You have already developed such a personality at such a young age. You giggle and laugh at so much. My favorite time of day is when Daddy comes home. No matter where you are you just watch him come in the door and you get so excited that he is home. People always tell us how happy you are. That is my favorite compliment. I love hearing that more than how cute or funny or big you are. Hearing people see that you're happy is more reassuring than anything else.

All my love forever and always,
Mommy
   

My darling Lucy,

     You left today to go stay with Nonnie and Poppie for a week. Surprisingly I didn't cry like I thought I would when you left. Daddy and I were sad to see you go, but we know you should be able to spend time with Nonnie and Poppie. We want you to be comfortable being away from us and it's something you should start getting used to now. The house feels so empty without you. I find myself waiting to hear you cry or see you peeking out of your crib.
   
     Daddy and I are pretty boring without you! Today we went to a movie then came home and cleaned the kitchen. We don't really know what to do without you. We are enjoying the time together. We've had you longer than we've been married so it's nice to have some time to build and grow our relationship, but we still miss you very much. I'm trying to avoid calling Nonnie and Poppie too much...but I don't think it's working!

     Tiger keeps looking around the apartment for you. He was sitting outside your bedroom door looking in at your bed. When he enters a room he looks around for you. It's sweet. You two have bonded already. I really think "Tiger" or something like it will be your first word. Any time he lets you get near him you get really close and squeal at him. It scares him and then he runs away. You've stopped squealing so much and have gotten brave enough to start petting him. He is better than I ever thought a cat would be. He lets you pull on his fur and his tail without reacting. He doesn't hiss or bite or try to scratch. If something is happening that he doesn't like he just leaves.

     This week is going to be a long one I can tell, but we want you to be close to Nonnie, Poppie, Conner, and Kate. You need this trip and so do we. It's just one more way that you're getting bigger. Every time I turn around you're growing up more and more.

All my love forever and always,
Mommy

Baby Lucy,
 
     Well, it's your favorite time of day....early in the morning before the sun is up! This week we've been trying to get you into a sleep routine. It's hard to let you fuss at bedtime, but I know that it's what's best for all of us in the long run. Going to bed at 8:30 sure does get you up early though! You're an 8 or 9 hours of sleep kind of girl, which means up at 4-6am. Statistics say you should be sleeping 12 hours a night, but you don't even seem a little tired. I'm sure that if I laid you back down and followed our bedtime process you'd fall back asleep, but secretly I like the alone time. It's peaceful this time of day. No one calls or texts me it's just us. We play for about an hour or so, then you usually fall back asleep. Once bedtime gets easier, I know we'll have to cut out our early morning time, but for now I'm keeping it.

     I love hearing your little voice try to mimic the sounds we make. You haven't quite figured out words yet, but it's still very early. I have really been pushing lately to try and teach you "Momma" or "Dadda." It hasn't really been working. Your "m"s sound more like "v"s. You're a very vocal baby. A lot of the time it sounds like you're trying to sing to us.

     The best thing in the world is just watching you grow. I remember the day you started crawling. It was a Sunday during NFL playoffs. We had planned a quiet, family day in watching football. Daddy had just started his new job with Norfolk Southern so the weekends were the only times we really got to spend full days together. You were about 7.5 or 8 months old (I'd have to go check a calendar to be exact or you can check your baby book!) and had been trying to scootch around the house for awhile. That morning I told Daddy that "today is the day." We cleared the living room floor and got out your toys to try and give you something to crawl toward. Instead of crawling, you grabbed the blanket we were laying on and pulled the blanket so that the toys would move closer to you. We learned that lesson and picked up the blanket. You didn't have any interest in crawling for toys, but you sure did scoot right along for a bottle. I was so proud and excited to see you crawling around. Now you're a mobile machine. We had to get a baby gate to keep you out of Tiger's food and water. That kitty is your best friend. I'm convinced your first word will sound a lot like "Tiger."

    People are constantly telling me how happy you are. This is the best compliment I've ever gotten for you. Sure people tell me that you're beautiful (which you are) and smart (also true) and funny (more like hilarious), but I love hearing that you seem so happy. It's reassuring to hear that we must be doing something right when we feel so lost sometimes. Parenting doesn't come with a manual, and the books that are supposed to be helping seem to only make me feel worse. I just keep telling myself that the first time around, everyone feels this lost and confused. You keep smiling and laughing at me and as of late you give big kisses (sloppy and open mouthed but kisses nonetheless). Daddy and I can see how happy  you are and how much you love us and all the fears and doubts melt away.

    You're starting to wind down now so I think it's back to bed time! There are so many things I want to tell you and stories I want to share before I forget them. These first few letters may be pretty frequent to make up for the months of not journaling, but you can't read yet so I guess for you it doesn't matter how much time passes between letters.

All my love forever and always,
Mommy

First things first....

My Darling Lucy,
     As I start this blog-venture, you're sitting in your Jumperoo trying to fight a nap. For some reason you love napping in that thing! You're almost nine months old. Actually, as I look down at the little time and date icon, I notice that you will be nine months old one week from today. Time really does fly by now that you're here. I wanted to start a journal to you months ago, but until recently I didn't think I would be able to keep up with it. I'm not sure how often I will write to you, but hopefully it will be at least once a week until...well until I feel like stopping. This first letter will be a little on the long side, so stay with me baby.(Although currently you've fallen into a Jumperoo slumber)

     I'm sure you've figured out by now that Daddy and I weren't married when we found out we were having you, but there are some things I want to make sure you know. I have a lot of questions I've never asked your grandma and probably never will, so I want to make sure you know the answers without asking the questions. Once we found out I was having a baby, Daddy and I knew exactly what we wanted. I felt a lot of things that day. I was afraid, nervous, excited, and overwhelmed with joy. I've always known that I wanted to be a mommy, and you gave me the chance to do just that. I was afraid of what would happen with your Daddy and myself. We hadn't been together as long as I would like for you to be with someone before having a baby, or as long as I would've liked for myself, but it was our reality. My fears came from my own father leaving my mom when she got pregnant, but as soon as I saw your daddy's reaction to the news, I knew you and I would be safe. I was nervous because we weren't in a most ideal situation for raising a baby and I didn't know what our plan would be. We were living with Mandy, Schuyler, and Kevin at the time. Having you lit a fire for us to find a place of our own...and soon. I was excited because my dream was coming true. I had a man in my life who I loved whole heartedly and we were about to have a baby. You put a smile on my face every single day.

     It's important to me that you know you were always wanted. Not even for a minute did we consider anything other than having you and loving you every day. Daddy's initial response when I told him I was for sure pregnant was "let's get married." He and I had talked already about spending our lives together but his readiness was still a bit of a shock. We both agreed that we couldn't imagine spending our lives with anyone else and once we knew you were going to join our lives we had made up our minds. We found out about you in October and were engaged by Christmas. Our initial plan was to get married a year later on the day we found out I was pregnant. After you were born, we already felt like a complete family and didn't want to wait to be one. We knew we hadn't saved enough to have a big wedding in the fall and decided to get married in a few weeks while the family was at the annual trip to Kentucky Lake. We had a small wedding surrounded by our loved ones, which I'm sure you've seen some pictures of by now.

     As I sit here and watch you sleep I can't imagine life getting any better. I love our little apartment and our little family. Times have been hard for us, that's for sure, but who's life isn't hard? Your Daddy and I have each other, and you will always have us.  I'm sure there are a zillion other things I want to tell you but tiny you is waking up now so that's all for today.

All my love forever and always,
Mommy