My Darling Lucy,
As I start this blog-venture, you're sitting in your Jumperoo trying to fight a nap. For some reason you love napping in that thing! You're almost nine months old. Actually, as I look down at the little time and date icon, I notice that you will be nine months old one week from today. Time really does fly by now that you're here. I wanted to start a journal to you months ago, but until recently I didn't think I would be able to keep up with it. I'm not sure how often I will write to you, but hopefully it will be at least once a week until...well until I feel like stopping. This first letter will be a little on the long side, so stay with me baby.(Although currently you've fallen into a Jumperoo slumber)
I'm sure you've figured out by now that Daddy and I weren't married when we found out we were having you, but there are some things I want to make sure you know. I have a lot of questions I've never asked your grandma and probably never will, so I want to make sure you know the answers without asking the questions. Once we found out I was having a baby, Daddy and I knew exactly what we wanted. I felt a lot of things that day. I was afraid, nervous, excited, and overwhelmed with joy. I've always known that I wanted to be a mommy, and you gave me the chance to do just that. I was afraid of what would happen with your Daddy and myself. We hadn't been together as long as I would like for you to be with someone before having a baby, or as long as I would've liked for myself, but it was our reality. My fears came from my own father leaving my mom when she got pregnant, but as soon as I saw your daddy's reaction to the news, I knew you and I would be safe. I was nervous because we weren't in a most ideal situation for raising a baby and I didn't know what our plan would be. We were living with Mandy, Schuyler, and Kevin at the time. Having you lit a fire for us to find a place of our own...and soon. I was excited because my dream was coming true. I had a man in my life who I loved whole heartedly and we were about to have a baby. You put a smile on my face every single day.
It's important to me that you know you were always wanted. Not even for a minute did we consider anything other than having you and loving you every day. Daddy's initial response when I told him I was for sure pregnant was "let's get married." He and I had talked already about spending our lives together but his readiness was still a bit of a shock. We both agreed that we couldn't imagine spending our lives with anyone else and once we knew you were going to join our lives we had made up our minds. We found out about you in October and were engaged by Christmas. Our initial plan was to get married a year later on the day we found out I was pregnant. After you were born, we already felt like a complete family and didn't want to wait to be one. We knew we hadn't saved enough to have a big wedding in the fall and decided to get married in a few weeks while the family was at the annual trip to Kentucky Lake. We had a small wedding surrounded by our loved ones, which I'm sure you've seen some pictures of by now.
As I sit here and watch you sleep I can't imagine life getting any better. I love our little apartment and our little family. Times have been hard for us, that's for sure, but who's life isn't hard? Your Daddy and I have each other, and you will always have us. I'm sure there are a zillion other things I want to tell you but tiny you is waking up now so that's all for today.
All my love forever and always,
Mommy
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